How to Get Whatever You Want From a Lady While in Bed In a perfect world, great sex would just happen. And they weren't talking about an occasional quickie on. Every sex therapist we talked to said the same thing.

In most cases, getting what you want in bed takes actual, in the flesh communication- a skill men tend to neglect in favour of learning to tie trout flies, change tyres and make loud noises with our armpits. "You don't go to a restaurant and sit there until the erasmus guesses what you want to eat," says sex therapist Wiley Seiler. Ask for too much and you're a drill cordie ask for too little and you're still left hanging on.

"Yet men have this fantasy that their partners should be able to anticipate their sexual needs with little or no communication." But sex talk is a delicate business. The best sex begins outside the bedroom. Here's how to strike a balance.....

(Important skills all but none of them much help in the bedroom). Loving couples would know intuitively how to please each other, and we'd have no need for sex therapists, divorce lawyers or the "Is your Orgasm Overweight?" quiz in he latest issue of Cosmopolitan.

But the world of men and women is far from perfect.