Marital Sex Was Bad - But Since Divorcing, it Has Become Empowering One year into my seven-year marriage, I began hating having sex with my then-husband. For years, us two ladies would sit and discuss and make excuses/placations for our husbands' behaviours. We marveled at how we were at opposite ends of the spectrum.

On the other side of the bedroom drama, my best friend was being sexually REJECTED by her husband. I wanted 'way less,' she wanted 'way more.' But one huge commonality existed between us. By me handing over my body to my ex like it was a plate of roast chicken, I was handing over. We were both being disempowered by our sex lives. Sex became something I endured and pretended to like to keep the peace and make him happy. And he wanted it a lot - every day, if not twice, even though I was usually pregnant, nursing, or up at night with infants /toddlers.

Whether they'd had a lovely evening out, she wore something extra sexy, or spent an intimate evening cuddling on the couch with him, nine times of out ten, he turned her down.

We resolutely hung onto our marriages, telling ourselves we were happy, that this 'phase' would pass, that there were more important things in a marriage than sex.